Meditation on a Mythical Horned Creature

The tapestry picture definitely makes this missive look classier and more cultural than it's going to be.

Hello readers,

How are you doing this week?

This week, I had to come to terms with the fact that it was time for me to make a doctor's appointment. Ever since I returned from France about a month ago, I've been having the kind of migraines that feel like someone repeatedly took an axe to my head, or like one of my kid's favorite Marvel characters repeatedly slammed my skull to smithereens with a car door, then went off to make an omelette like nothing ever happened. These headaches have been not-so-great, needless to say, and doing the things I normally do to get rid of them hasn't really worked the way it used to back when I was younger and had my wits about me. As a matter of fact, this past weekend, migraines knocked me out badly enough that I missed a Colleen Oakley book talk on Saturday night, and a soccer match that did not go my way on Sunday night.

As far as I was concerned that was simply too much life to miss, so I told my sister what was going on and she said "maybe you are growing horns." Feeble, I thought of how nice it would be to evolve into a unicorn, that magical, mystical creature that is Scotland's national animal. Oh how beautiful I'd be once that horn emerged from the center of my miserable skull. I'd give well-behaved children rides on my back and then frolic with them in meadows as they played and sang songs about their beautiful new horned friend. I'd even let them braid flowers into my mane.

And then we'd eat candy! Oh how delightful that would be!

My mother was having none of that weird talk. She said: "Maybe you should go to the doctor." My kid chimed in: "Yeah, maybe you should go to the doctor." Same with my husband: "Maybe you could call the doctor tomorrow?"

The doctor? Don't you mean the vet?

Met with no response, I called the doctor and saw her on Wednesday. Because I was able to pinpoint the onset of the really bad stuff to my return from France, my doctor asked whether I could think of anything from around that time that might have triggered things. Well Doc, I came back with a bad cold that wasn't COVID and it eventually went away. But I also had to return from France (FRANCE!), and return to this political climate on top of that.

She gave me a knowing look, and a "mmhm."

I continued in that vein for some time about my triggers and thoughts about what this could be. As twilight fell, and then night turned to day, I noted that this laundry list of things I was sharing with her only seemed to exacerbate my anxieties, which, in turn, sparked these infernal headaches.

"Okay," she said, after probably typing 'total nutjob' into her notes. "Let's have a look."

She did all the ear, nose and throat checks, and listened to my heart and lungs. My nose was runny, she noted, but that's to be expected this time of year. She poked around on my sinuses (ow), my neck (ow), my jaw, temples and head (ow, ow, ow). Then she tilted my head forward and pain shot down through my neck into my shoulders and the middle of my back. I wept. She apologized. I forgave her, despite the fact that I knew in my heart that that was no way to treat a unicorn.

Her verdict: We need to rule some things out. And I thought to myself, "Please, God, not the horn. Anything but the horn!" First, she wanted to be sure that there was no sinus infection, so she gave me some antibiotics. Second, she wanted to give me a new medicine to try when I felt the migraine coming on. Third, she wanted to give me steroid shots to get rid of the inflammation and pain. "It's definitely migranous," she said. No word about it being unicornous. Anyway (and on a much less silly note), she wants to see me back in two weeks, so we can see what to do next, and whether to get a neurologist involved.

So I've been taking it about as easy as I can this week, and I hope you're finding ways to do the same. Hit reply and let me know how you're doing when you get the chance. I'll be thinking about you in the meantime (and hopefully back in better form next week).

Best,

Paige

Writing prompt: If you could be any sort of creature, what would it be and why? The creature could be a real-life or mythical thing, or it could be one of your own invention. Whatever it is, be sure to jot down all the powers you'd have if you were that magnificent being.

Anytime women come together with a collective intention, it's a powerful thing. Whether it's sitting down making a quilt, in a kitchen preparing a meal, in a club reading the same book, or around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with a collective intention, magic happens.

-- Phylicia Rashad

Endnotes

What I'm enjoying: The arrival of spring in Atlanta. The weather has been simply delightful. Also? Chocolate Guinness cake.

What I'm reading: I started off reading Laila Lailami's new book, but ventured back into nonfiction after a discussion with my stylist about the state of things. Rebecca Solnit's Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities was just what the doctor ordered. In it, Solnit says activism is a long game, where the results of what we do are not often seen or measurable immediately. We find hope in our willingness to act despite this, she writes, and that any despair we might feel is premature, impatient. "Cause-and-effect assumes history marches forward, but history is not an army," she explains. "It is a crab scuttling sideways, a drip of soft water wearing away stone, an earthquake breaking centuries of tension."

What I'm listening to: Monica Lewinsky's "Reclaiming" podcast interview with actress Molly Ringwald was fascinating. Not only did the "Sixteen Candles" star reflect on the "good, bad, and ugly" of being John Hughes' muse, but about her efforts after that to figure out who she was and what she wanted out of life. Be sure to check it out wherever you get your podcasts.

What I'm probably going to be listening to soon: Historian Claire Aubin's "This Guy Sucked" podcast, in which she speaks to historians about their most hated men in history, from Henry Ford and Voltaire, to Plato and Jerry Lee Lewis. The Guardian did a piece about the show today. In it, Aubin argued that you can be a hater and a good scholar, adding that the repellent nature of some individuals is often the gateway into more serious study that reveals how that person's flaws are essential to understanding them and their importance.

Phone home: Beginning today, people can begin bidding on the original three-foot-high body model of ET, which is expected to fetch over $1 million at the Sotheby's auction, "There Are Such Things: 20th Century Horror, Science Fiction and Fantasy on Screen." Design work for ET is also up for grabs, as are sandworm models from David Lynch's "Dune" and various costumes, props and posters.

Where I hope you'll donate this week: It feels like a really good time to donate to the American Civil Liberties Union again.