Time and Space

A how-to thing about getting creative work done when there's nothing but noise and obligations and political hellfire all around you.

Hi readers,

I'm writing you before a bunch of workmen arrive and start banging on my house for the second consecutive day. We've had an issue with woodpeckers, and have also needed some window trim replaced, among other things. So yesterday there was a bunch of whirring and knocking and sawing and all other manner of din. A worker was even siiiinging...outside my wiiiindow....tra la la...

Right now it's quiet, except for some singing birds, but it won't be that way for long, so I need to do what I can to get what I need to say off my chest before circumstances change, because a reader actually asked me for this piece today, God help them.

So...

We live in noisy times where there are a lot of demands on our time and attention. There are kids, aging parents, bills to pay, hell to pay, cobwebs that seem to multiply, goddamned woodpeckers, mind-boggling cabinet picks, obligations. There's that meme or twelve you need to send your sister. There's the pride that's at stake because you still haven't gotten 2048 unlike everyone else in your household. Maybe your health is compromised in some way. Maybe your anxieties kept you up at night and so the idea of sitting at a desk is less appealing than taking a good long nap in the sunshine. Maybe you need to pick up this kid after sportsball practice, and drop another kid off at a friend's house to play whatever video game is hip right now. Maybe there is that secret part of you that doubts whether the creative thing you really want to do is something on which you need to be spending your precious time. Who knows what the thing is that is making it complicated to sit and write, paint, weave, whatever? But it is a thing, and it is real and not to be minimized. We all have something we are dealing with, and living through.

Paige knows. And Paige loves you!

Does our thing take up our entire day? Probably not. Can we find an hour or two, here and there to sit and write a poem or create a tapestry? Probably, though that tapestry would have to be small. Could I send my sister five batshit memes instead of 12? It would be hard, but I could give it a go. It's about looking at the time you have and figuring out what you're doing with it. I am big on using a paper planner – Hobonichi is my drug of choice – to map out what my day to day and hour by hour looks like. Because I am a Capricorn, I find that when something is in ink on that delicate paper, I'm really filled with self-loathing (#psycho) if I decide to cross it out, for whatever reason.

When you start scribbling things down and blocking things off, you really do see what you're working with, time-wise. There is absolutely no shame whatsoever in saying "I know I will have a long day prior to that two-hour chunk of time, so I would prefer to use that block to rest, or to meet a friend for tacos on a sunny day." But there are other chunks elsewhere, and maybe then things become a matter of delegating this, or letting the cobwebs sit another day, or something. When I find myself ruminating about time, I sometimes hear my thesis advisor's voice in my head, saying "you have to chooooooose" in a way that, I'll admit, always felt very life or death to me in the days when I was not sure whether I'd ever accomplish a master's degree. If you are the anxious sort, as I am, choosing this means not choosing that and what if someone hates you because you chose in a way that does not involve them? What happens then, and won't they be so disappointed in me for saying no?

Thank God for my therapist. Because the real question here is what happens if you don't choooooose a block of time here and there for you to do your creative thing? I'm not talking whole days, or weeks, where you're like "I'm sorry this is my taxidermy moment. You're going to have to stop your own bleeding." I'm talking a little chunk in a day, here and there. Do you want to disappoint yourself (because trust me it happens if you do it enough)? What happens if you choose yourself and then find that creating these no-fly-zone chunks of time for you to do your thing leads to you creating something that the world really needs right now?

I know that many of you have gorgeous writing spaces, whether they're entire rooms or corners of rooms. Having those is an essential element of being able to sit down, shut the door, and do. But gorgeousness is not the point (somewhere my sister is screaming "LIE"). It's having that room of your own, and having people understand that if the door is shut, then they need to let you be until you're done doing your thing unless there is a true emergency. True emergency does not mean "Succession is on. Come watch with me." Everyone knows you can stream that shit later. True emergency is probably something like "The house is about to be swallowed up in a sinkhole. Let's get while the getting is good."

You have to chooooose. You do. And when it comes to making time for your creative work, I hope you will choose those chunks of time, wherever you can find them, to do the work that's calling to you. It matters. You matter. And I hope you found some part of this helpful today.

Writing prompt: You don't have time for what, and why? Are you sure about that? Spit facts and see where this exercise takes you.

The world is violent and mercurial – it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love – love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.

-- Tennessee Williams

Endnotes

What I'm reading: Clare Pooley's Iona Iverson's Rules for Commuting. A renowned literary influencer and genius recommended this to me over lunch on Wednesday, and so I went straight home and read it cover to cover. If you need something light (but not TOO light), this is it. If you need more proof that the world would be a better place if we'd just take the time to listen to each other, this book is for you. If you've ever thought, "man, literature sure could use more characters like Auntie Mame," this, friends, is your next read. I giggled. I sighed "oh that poor thing." I decided that my evil alter ego will be known from here on out as "Candida."

What I'm looking forward to: Gary Clark Jr. at The Eastern next Tuesday. A new biography of former Baltimore Orioles coach Earl Weaver that comes out that day, too. "Purple Rain" with Michelle on Wednesday. More soccer wins, hopefully, and pretty please with chocolate sprinkles on top, I beg of you.

Where I hope you'll donate this week: Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE). The current administration is determined to do what it can to strip rights from transgender Americans and erase their very existence. A4TE's team of policy experts, community organizers, and litigators advocates for human rights while providing the community with knowledge and services, such as an ID Documents Center, a Trans Health project, a Name Change project and a State Action Center. So please consider supporting their work. Thank you.